I DIDNT WEAR UNDERWEAR TODAY!

lemme summarize

2011-08-11T20:32:00.002+08:00

daydreams

short

indecisive

low self-esteem

not much confidence left

too hasty

thinks too much

easily demoralized

lame

a fucking burden

lazy

bastard

insensitive

goal-less

thick-skinned

aint useful

procrastinator

and many more

well that sums me up quite well

in other words

A FAILURE, A FUCKING FAILURE

how i wish i can dig a fucking hole so deep

and never come out again -.-

stupid. so fucking stupid.

2011-08-11T18:58:00.002+08:00

ok, i've always misjudged things and come to conclusions

extremely fast

but looking at things now

it was a fucking mistake

to have gone ahead with that idea

i dont know what made me

believe that there was even a possibility in the first place

maybe its a wake up call

and the last one

well, i hope you get fucked the same way at work the way you fucked me up. bitch

2011-08-11T00:29:00.002+08:00

well the title sums it all up -.-

time for a puff puff with my mint intense

guys and girls.

2011-08-10T22:40:00.001+08:00

ok now i know why my mind blocked for these few days

feeling cranky again

seriously, guys and girls

there's not much difference

we all PMS

its just a matter of consistency

well fuckmylife -.-

feeling like this for no reason.

kns ccb diu le

Looking Back this 3 years

2011-08-08T13:06:00.004+08:00

We created this blog when i was 16? perhaps 17. Now im 19. Can you believe that?
I can confidently say I did quite alot of activities during my 3 yrs in school! (:
I'd just looked through all the photos i had in fb and realize how fast it has been since the picture of my first day in school up till now.
All the fun times we had together!
camps dance performances, going to the beach, jz hanging out! all that jz came back to me.
The photos also reminded me of what we once are and how we've change along the way.
I was quite small back then but as time goes by i've mature a lil bit. learning everyday how to be a better person.
I might not be as great now but i hope i will be in the future.
This is a reminder of future-HELMI of who i once were (:

H.E.L.M.I
Remember the things that make you smile, not on things than makes you frown!
ME off to school!
Listening to: Move like jagger -Maroon 5

Wondering

2011-08-07T00:08:00.000+08:00

so is it wrong

to run away

instead of standing up

to the fear?

i guess

2011-07-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

it's time i forgive and forget

what's this feeling?

2011-07-26T20:12:00.002+08:00

i have an irresistible urge

to faster end my last few months of poly life

ASAP

but looking back at pictures

that i took

during these two and a half years

i kinda dont want

all those fun times to end

fuck, why am i contradicting myself so much these few weeks?

one by one

2011-07-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

WE FALL

reality

2011-07-22T09:12:00.002+08:00

i've come to realize that no one else

except me

updates this blog now

so i shall use this as a vessel

to say what i think

and what i feel

things which i cant express to anyone

lesson learnt

2011-07-21T22:16:00.001+08:00

the way i am now

i'm not ready

This day

2011-07-21T17:32:00.000+08:00

exactly 5 months ago

on this very day

we had the best time

together

who knew

2011-07-19T16:23:00.002+08:00

that i would ever step into that area

again

and still feel as if it was just yesterday that i was there

ponder

2011-07-18T22:59:00.002+08:00

does hiding everything from the world

and continuing to give a familiar smile

that you've done for so long

that no one can tell if anything's wrong

shows that you're a strong person

or is it a sign of weakness

randomness

2011-07-17T23:46:00.002+08:00

i've come to a point

whereby i'm thinking

who out there really is

what they seem to be

sorry, its been a long time since the blog was last updated.

CRAZY SonOfA.Bitch

2011-05-13T01:34:00.000+08:00

Im sorry for the lost that my brown bro is experiencing. I've gone through the pain that you went through. Like that saying goes, Look forward to the rainbow after a storm. or something like tt. my advice? DON BE A PUSSY! JUST SUCK IT UP! ermm, i mean cheer up. This whole relationship thing got me thinking alot on whether or not i should consider another relationship in the future or just stay single all my life =.= it's kinda stupid i know
The pain of going through something like that again... it's kinda unbearable.

For me, im contented with what i have right know and shaping my future slowly with each choices i make. I don't want to lose anyone else. EMO-SELF KICKING IN In realisation, those that use to be my close friends have all drifted apart. Maybe that's who i am.. someone who just passes by. That's why having an emotional attachment can be painful. i rather keep stuff to myself. that's probably who i am.. a Loner. Forever sitting in a room playing my laptop. sleeping and eating. no life at all. but for me, i guess that's the only life i've got.

NORMAL SELF I have to squeeze out every ounce of courage and bravery to take on the cruel world. For i want to change myself for the better for my sisters, parents and those around me. I WAN SEEK MY DESTINY. i know i can be more.

IM KINDA FCUKED UP. JUST NEED TO GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT!

H.E.L.M.I
not knowing what's right and wrong anymore

p.s I finally figured out the reason for the sms u sent.

Even the best falls down sometimes

2011-04-14T02:35:00.002+08:00

Crapp. The feeling is back ): Trust
sometimes it's hard not knowing how to express this feeling. keeping it all inside making it worst. im scared if you see this you keep doing what you are doing to me.
i don wan this to go on, you do what you are doing to me just Hxrxx

Instant recovery!

2011-04-14T01:26:00.003+08:00

I've been wanting to write something but didnt find the time.
I feel like this blog been dead for quite awhile now considering all the 3 bloggers here are busy.

Daud's been off dunno doing wad. chalet, GF and telemarketing work while Kwa been off being a boss doing wad he likes to do - repairing cars (: even if you're a handy man, still you're doing what you like to do. That's wad matters most.

Well for me, i've been busy being single rejoining the lonelyboyz92 club & bz with my internship in NUS! been posted to several places like SP & NP roadshow. It's a great experience to be part of this. I was so reluctant to attend work for the first few weeks but look at how fast time flies. It's gonna be the last week of my intern. Gonna miss the ppl whom i worked with ): they supported me alot along the way & i wanna give thanks to those people that helped me in this intern! MAY JANE MR KIM MR PANG SIMON DANIEL SUSAN RACHEL BOON SIONG EWAN CECILLIA & WILSON

& not forgetting the Join Domain peeps + the cashiers + promoters! made lots of friends through this!

when the time allows it, we shall meet again! (:

H.E.L.M.I
I'll be better the next time we meet

To my Dearest Friend (:

2011-04-03T22:50:00.004+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday
REBECCA CHOY WAN TING!
the one & only guai lan-ness (:
Anyways, i hope u had a wonderful time today
& May your birthday wishes come true! CHEERS!

H.E.L.M.I

Past Future Present

2011-03-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

Don't get stuck in the past,
Where you linger on and on in familiarity,
And replay old memories over and over again.

Don't overindulge in the future,
Where you daydream about leading a grand life endlessly,
And imagine the sweetest days you could ever live.

Live totally in the present,
Enjoying each and every moment,
Where it is all happening,
Where it truly matters.

(: helmi

Jeanell

2011-03-05T11:57:00.003+08:00

you've made me happy you've made me smile,
you've made me sad Only for awhile

I could never get mad at you,
In whatever things that you do

I like your company and i hope u liked mine,
wouldn't even trade it for a dime

For all the memories that we've attained,
I hope you keep it safe
somewhere hidden it still remains.

You'll always be my Dearr
no matter what
you'll always be my EA.N.JELL
Even if we're apart
And now it's time to get back to the very start..

ASKING ALEXANDRIA!

2011-02-23T23:03:00.002+08:00

OK FUCK! IM STILL FUCKING EXCITED EVEN THOUGH AA ALREADY ENDED!

fuck their performance is sickkkk. just too damn fucking sick. hope they come back soon again!

so waited very long just to get into the place, heard opening band, got the shirt... AND IT WAS AA'S TURN!

FUCKING SICK I SWEAR, MAKES YOU HAVE EARGASM AND HEADBANG TO EVERY SINGLE SONG!!!!!!!!! ( my neck is sore by the way HAHAHA)

so ya, AA was totally worth it, even though its my first band gig, i will never forget and regret it!

AA! COME BACK SOON!

zy here

YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE!

Changes

2011-02-19T21:59:00.002+08:00

ok so today was suppose to have dinner with the rest... but in the end only helmi and me.

so woke up, went library, read magazine, study abit, have lunch, came back, study, go eat prata.

kinda sums up what happened today.

but main point is the changes that are happening.

so during lunch, we went hawker to eat, so while eating, overheard one of the owners saying that they are suppose to close their stalls by the 28 of this month. which is like the week after.... the place where i had memories with my brothers and friends, is going to be gone. kinda makes it sad when thinking about it.

but the scary thing would be the ntuc near the hawker. we wanted to go buy chips and eat, but reaching there only to realised that the ntuc had closed down since feb 2. many places where i used to go or hang out is closing down. then we realised the block facing the ntuc also felt empty. no bamboo poles hanging clothes, all windows shut. felt like a ghost town for a moment. a real ghost town.

then there is daud's house downstairs the prata shop. we went there only to see that there are different people managing the shop. in our minds we were very afraid that our hangout spot is changing too. changes are just happening so fast. memories are going to be destroyed.

sometimes in life there are bound to be changes, but you just wished they didnt happen.

zy here

changes are scary, but they are necessary

The lyrics says it all...

2011-02-14T13:33:00.004+08:00

Menjaga Hati

Masih tertinggal bayanganmu
yang telah membekas di relung hatiku
hujan tanpa henti seolah bertanda
cinta tak disini lagi kau telah berpaling

CHORUS:
Biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini
menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
engkau pergi aku takkan pergi
kau menjauh aku takkan jauh
sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu
ooh oooh

Masih adakah cahaya rindumu
yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu
aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu
meskipun kulihat kau kini diseberang sana

CHORUS

Andai akhirnya kau tak juga kembali
aku tetap sendiri menjaga hati

CHORUS 2x

Sejujurnya aku masih mengharapkanmu
oooh ooohh

-im missing you badly
H.E.L.M.I
Reminiscence of a broken heart

SOS

2011-02-14T04:22:00.000+08:00

help
confused
lost
...

daud...

Chinese New Year

2011-02-04T15:34:00.002+08:00

:O. today's the 2nd day of new year, and IM DONE WITH VISITING! :D

so im currently studying... need prepare for end sem. must improve my 3.7!

so ya. back to studying, just a random update.

TIME TO GET MY SHOES :D!

zy here. study study study!

since you wanted me out of your life,i did you the kind favour of deleting myself from your "life"

How i wish...

2011-01-12T11:39:00.003+08:00

Nothing to say anymore

2011-01-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

if you dont want to talk to me, just tell me. dont make me wait behind the computer or holding my phone waiting for a reply im not going to get.

me not getting over you is a fact, but you not wanting to be even friends is your choice. i have no say in it but its really messing with my head.

i know nothing i say here doesnt matter at all, but seriously i wished im done with this shit.

i wished.

A New Start?

2011-01-02T00:25:00.002+08:00

Happy new year peeps!

actually nothing exciting about it.... bloody hell school reopens on monday, WHY SO HAPPY?!

but anyway, countdowned... fireworks.....ton.....sentosa.....

thats about it. kinda boring i guess. but what to do.

im not really the new year resolution kinda of guy, but i really do hope i improve. cant depend on anyone else but myself. so if i dont improve, im deaddd!

think i end here then. tomorrow need call funan see got open or not. desktop power source uplorry ( died ). go change to better one then maybe next time can upgrade graphic card hahaha.

kk i think i end here then.

still Happy 2011!

zy here.

a new year doesnt mean my feelings will just fade away with time, it just doesnt

Expression

2010-12-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

Expression is defined as the feelings expressed on a person's face. I really have to on the expression for all the choreos that im in.
Auggy keep telling me that i dunno the steps but i do ): WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Seriously, I really wasn't in the mood to dance today. I don't know why but perhaps we had trainings almost everyday despite intensive week was over. =.= then wad's the use? Somemore not many ppl come for the vetting/trainings... then why was i even there? why do i even sacrificing my time & effort to even be there to train & get tell off? i can jz give excuse about some shit & jz be off.
I really feel that dancing everyday is bad. maybe tt's jz my thinking..i jz don have feeling to dance. T.T I don think i've improved at all!!! kinda brought me down alot. URGH.
Dancing everyday is really taking a toll on everyone's body, my mind and time.
Ive been thinking if i should dance next year? maybe it's jz best tt i MIA jz like the rest of the seniors D:

nick had to sacrifice celebrating his father's birthday jz attend the vetting ):

As compared to fb's production, our's like really not up to standard but really force pushing everyone is not the way.Truth is, WE CAN BE EQUAL AS THEM OR BETTER! I know we are in this together but why do i see ppl not even there going through all of this together?

XY said something about be a dancer to benefit the club & not to bring down the club.
Izzit really all about the club ,fame & being known? iznt tt suppose to come naturally? I feel tt im doing this to improve myself in one way or another. And breaking through tt barrier is hard. Maybe it's jz me.

CANT WAIT FOR THE WEEKENDS TO BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !&@*#&
gonna forget about dance & enjoy this weekends ttm with my bros! don care!!
cant wait for tmr.. going out with Dearr on christmas eve. It's really gonna be a change of pace. i seriously want tomorrow to be different.

H.E.L.M.I
feeling unappreciated

Missing You

2010-12-23T02:46:00.002+08:00

Missing you,

just missing you,

badly.

Very badly.

Nothing can be done about it,

the silence kills it all.

Really hope that this friendship actually exist,

but deep down inside,

you and i both know the ending,

not a sight that i hoped for,

not a pretty sight.

Not at all.

zy here

Anti Matter

2010-12-22T00:36:00.002+08:00

hello me again. haha. holidays very bored so just blog lor.

anyway. last week went to do cip. recycling stuff. quite interesting i would say. but i still stand my point that being vegan does not solve global warming. we should kill off people who dont contribute and keep the smart ones. so at least humans can evolve faster and not de-evolve.

finished watching how i met your mother, big bang theory and walking dead. walking dead was awesome. storyline is very good. but the zombie outbreak got me thinking. the last episode, the guy mentioned that some french people almost found the cure. but they ran out of electricity. very sad yet scary if you think about it. but doesnt make sense because if a zombie out break really occur, the government would keep all plants working, or at least afew to continue running certain parts of the country. so at least facilities can continue running and finding out the cure for the outbreak.

but wont it be awesome if we really manage to use anti matter? anti matter is a particle found in space, but when reacted with matter, it produces lots of energy. but that technology would at least be another maybe 100 years later i guess. currently its not cost effective to produce them, let alone safe to have large amount of them. but i really hope it does work out soon. we are really running out of fossil fuels.

anyway, end here then.

zy here

still missing you

un-written

2010-12-21T03:57:00.011+08:00

no larh.. as in i cant even take care of u. ): im like so helpless. dearr, forgive me.

EmotionCoaster

2010-12-15T01:26:00.005+08:00

I've been lacking alot of sleep recently because i think reality is better than dreams.
But today i'll be dreaming...
Wishing a better tomorrow will come.

H.E.L.M.I
Reminescence of a broken heart

Holidays!

2010-12-14T14:41:00.002+08:00

wooo... like 2nd day of holidays.. AND IM BORED AT HOME! D:

but im broke... no moneh to go shopping... verh sad =( anyone want to sponsor me money to buy shirts? :D

anyway.. hmm ... exams.. seems not bad... only for mechanics i guess. thermofluids was a joke paper. finished in 15mins. seriously joke. hope get all correct so dont have to worry so much about it end sem.

so ya.. GOT MY MMI TICKETS! WOOO! cant wait bitchhhhhh!!!.... first gig ever... AND ITS GOING TO BE MMI. still waiting for AA's tickets to be out so can get them.

hmm so i guess.. nothing much i guess already. end here then

zy here

what have i done this time?

Loneliness

2010-11-30T23:07:00.002+08:00

I thought it was all over,

all that we had should had been gone,

pictures burned,

memories erased.

But why do i still have heartaches,

when i close my eyes,

i see you face once again.

It haunts me now and then,

but you will never be my nightmare,

cause you are who i wished i had.

But such thoughts are still thoughts,

no actions to be done,

only to sit here and close my eyes,

just to see your face again.

zy here

i really miss you, but you have more important people in your life now to include me.

MST GO AWAY!

2010-11-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

well... studying for the damn mst now. compared to last sem, which i only had 2 damn subject to study, now i have 5 =.=.

lots of thing i havent really finish studying. but hope can finish by next week. cause mst is the week after... im so deaddd!

well, shall wish luck is on my side then.

time to go back to studying.

zy here.

im confused once again

2011

2010-11-23T18:54:00.000+08:00

YES ARH! MISS MAY I IS COMING DOWN TO SG! FUCK YEAH. FEB IS A GOOD MONTH IN 2011!

SHOES!

2010-11-22T20:01:00.003+08:00

YAY I GOT MY AIR JORDANS WOHOO!

happy day man. 3rd pair of high cuts. wonder when will be the next HAHA!

so... nothing much to update except for the jordans part. so ya. shall study later.

but still JORDANS WOOHOO!

HAPPY ZY IS HAPPY :D

shoes are a better choice compared to you now

Time Machine..

2010-11-17T22:33:00.002+08:00

hmm.. ok today was a very unproductive day.. spent the whole day watching big bang theory. fucking funny comedy show. now at season 2, got the time maybe finish till season 3. then wait for season 4 to finish before torrenting the whole series. FYEAH!

so ya.. just finished reading chapter 1 of engineering materials though, got afew doubts here and there, so maybe got to ask lecturer tomorrow. but somehow i got a feeling he doesnt really like me though.. but who cares actually?!

hmm.. so still finding a part time job though, kinda sad cant find any, and there is so many things to buy. maybe just dont buy anything i go on a cold turkey for shopping HAHA. i would had gone crazy already... actually might be possible since the last time i bought something was near to 2 months already? so ya... shoes bag jeans. many many stuff to buy D:

so ya.. guess i end here then. update soon again.

im starting to have second doubts

Boringness

2010-11-14T00:37:00.002+08:00

so its me again.... just wanted to blog suddenly haha.

so ya... just now head down to library to meet the bros. went there and saw daud's friend... then did my homework abit.... then went mac..... then ate double macspicy again... then didnt win anything... then.... went home.

shit it sounds so boring HAHA! ok lah.. also nothing much happening.so ya... dbss dbss come to me~ HAHA shit im going crazy i swear! dbss is mindfucking me!

ok end here then,

zy here.

you, dont be a stuck up bitch.

random

2010-11-09T05:53:00.006+08:00

hey! i jz wanna say hi cos seems like this blog is dead but i can assure you tt it's not! haha.
SRY FOR THE LONG ABSENCE
cos i lost my laptop.
Anyways, @ kwa : i bother writing shit sometimes :D
Today im quite contented.
THE DAY STARTED & ENDED WELL.

08/11

H.E.L.M.I
missin you

Weirdness

2010-11-08T21:18:00.004+08:00

so... im actually the only fuck who bothers writing shit here though. anyway i dont think anyone bothers coming here to read the stuff anyway HAHA!

so... hmm update on life. currently in need of money! got many many kicks to buy suddenly. THE URGE. THE DBSS. THE DUNKS. THE SKYTOPS. HAHAHA. life sucks when the thing you want to buy is in front of you yet you can buy!

hmm.. school wise.. as usual i guess, but maybe i feel like more hardworking as compared to last sem. no idea why anyway HAHA.

so... today had like a commotion that happened in NP. so they had some technical issues that prevented people from using twitter, then everyone was like OMGWTFBBQ??!!!!

fucking funny i tell you, how humans become so defensive about the things they take granted for. so thats humans for you. unlike in sp... no such shits happen. so its boringgg!

so... hmm.. nothing much i guess. life is boring as usual, nothing exciting. unless i like get to work in a actual workshop, that would be JIZZ IN MY PANTS HAHAHA! but seriously, i dont mind working at a workshop without any pay, just teach me stuff i would be grateful enough.

so ya.. guess i end here then. nothing much to blog about today. i try to blog as frequent as possible so that people who actually bother checking have something to read!

( updated : 11.03 pm)

OMFG ASKING ALEXANDRIA IS COMING TO SG ON FEB 2011. OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!

zy here~

i have nothing to say today, so this has nothing to do with how i feel!

Repeat

2010-10-28T22:16:00.002+08:00

cold shoulders,

exposing the scars that was healed,

yet the pain to be felt again.

confused,

am i,

to do what i want?

or to do what i have always done?

give me an answer,

to keep me waiting like this,

is killing me,

alone.

Who Knew

2010-10-04T00:54:00.002+08:00

looks like i have no right to say that it pains me, after seeing what others have gone through.

it's just that i think i'm starting to lose it, since its already at the 15th.

Bored

2010-10-03T02:41:00.002+08:00

ok.. kinda late to be blogging now, but shall do it then head to bed :D

so ya.. IM FINALLY BACK ON MY DESKTOP! so long never touch it already, feels nice touching the mouse and keyboard again.

anyway room is kinda big suddenly, after clearing loads of junk from it. so ya, got a room to myself now :D

so... nothing much happened actually. friday went with yao go his nafa fun day... was ok, but not very fun only till the last part. the miss and mr nafa contest was damn exciting haha. too bad yao didnt win the ipad, but at least he got $90 for helping out with his friend stall!

hmm.. then got my gucci dunks... so im wondering now to wear it anot. cause if the sole wears out, then i cant wear it anymore. wasted right? but if dont wear... also wasted.. confusing thoughts man.

so ya.... seems like most of the stuff that happened to me, except that 3day tangs thing that was so boring i have nothing to talk about haha.

well i think i end here then, off to bed! :D

Missing you badly, was always doing that

It got me wondering

2010-09-30T22:22:00.002+08:00

wall street mentioned that the definition of insanity is to do something over and over again, expecting a different result. i've been repeating the process 15 times now and it got me thinking whether am i really insane? just what am i lacking in?!

apart from that, supposed to night cycle yesterday at ECP but we went there alittle late so all the shops were closed. but had a hell lot of fun with yunkeat, kevin, helmi, clarissa and rachel! really cheered me up!

daud here btw, and still wondering

How?

2010-09-27T02:14:00.002+08:00

wanting to talk to you,

but have no idea how...

to get stumped in the middle of the night.

and just thinking how.

yes, how.

how to talk to you.

may seem like an easy task,

but it's actually harder than it seems.

comunnication had broken down,

but deep down i still need it.

how?

zy here,

how to be your friend again?

Almost

2010-09-21T21:32:00.002+08:00

holy god. got into almost 2 accidents today. was walking behind a van and it started reversing out of nowhere. then another was at a corner where a ah pek riding a bike almost ram into me. scary HAHA

anyway been a long time since i blogged. while nothing much to blog anyway. now holidays so rotting at home cause no job. pity me HAHA.

so ya end here then nothing much.

zy here

you being sad makes me worried and sad

It's been a long time

2010-09-07T21:00:00.001+08:00

so here is a hi
from me, daud isacheescake (:

Dreams

2010-09-06T23:41:00.002+08:00

my dreams are in front of me,

slowly one by one they start to emerge,

yet i can only sit here and look at them,

not even able to see them with my own eyes,

or even feel them.

my dream is so near,

yet so far.

seems like there isnt hope for me at all,

just seems like it.

zy here

Confused

2010-08-30T01:44:00.001+08:00

sometimes i just wonder,

am i suppose to be a

passerby?

or someone

important

in your life?

zy here

When a Heart Breaks, It Don't Break Even

2010-08-29T22:06:00.004+08:00

hmm taking a break from studying now..
i don't know why but this song jz remind me of what happened to me recently.
Despite it's meaning, it's really a nice song.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even..

What am i gonna to do when the best part of me was always you
And what am i supposed to say when I'm all chocked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces,yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

...

break even - the script

H.E.L.M.I
Putting the past behind me

Time Doesnt Exist, We Just Made It Up

2010-08-28T02:15:00.002+08:00

awake at 2.16am

have no idea what to do

sleep takes away the thoughts

but dreams install even bigger fantasy

now im just sitting face my screen

typing whatever comes to mind

but its always you that do that

it never fails

you are what i want

maybe its changing to a need

but you will never know

cause youre too good for me

maybe its just a thought

but thoughts are what dreams make

they make you think over and over again

mind fucking you every

second

minute

hour

day

year

of your life

to embrace is courage

or others call being afraid

but there is one thing for sure

im still awake at 2.16 am

zy here HAHA

Lost

2010-08-22T02:31:00.000+08:00

why do you look so beautiful?

you never seem to fade from my memories,

holding on forever,

till when?

time will never tell,

neither can i,

but holding on to them,

is what i do best.

expecting nothing in return

is what they call true love?

zy here

Remembering The Old Days

2010-08-09T03:59:00.002+08:00

I was watching the show titled "old places" which depict places that remind Singaporeans of their past. Then it struck me.. the memories from my past. *FLASHBACK*
And then i thought to myself.
what was others' childhood been like?
well for me, I should say i had quite a wonderful childhood.
I've experienced happiness, sadness , fear , curiosity , embarrassment , jealousy, lust and etc.

I remembered the time when my friends and i played catching and water bomb throughout my entire block area.

I remember the time when we played blind mice , ice & water in the nearby playground.

There was this one time my bike hit the tree near my block.

I fell onto my friend's little brother with my teeth sinking into his face. remembered seeing him covered in blood & so was my teeth. that's something unforgettable.

Played Tamiya Cars at the drainage area with friends as we had no ramp to begin with.

Split someone else's beyblade in half.

I remembered playing laser tag in the maze near my house.

Caught tadpoles & spiders in the nearby field

My kitten died and was buried beside the tree near my house.

Got jealous of my cousin for making my first "crush" laugh all the time.

RIZAL,RUSHDEE,TAUFIQ,HIDAYAT,KHAIRUDDIN & MAHADHIR were my childhood friends.

Ms Sarah & Ms Lum being such good teachers back in my school.Had a crush on one of them :x

Both my parents were working and often not at home during the afternoons.
They allowed me to explore the outside world and i thank them for that.
Not being restraint to life at home, I learnt many things by myself.

As time passes, my childhood friends moved to a different neighbourhood one after another.
Now the nearby playgrounds, maze ,basketball court and path ways had been demolished and turned into a field full of vast greenery.
Every time i looked out of the window and gaze upon the field, the feeling & memories of playing with my childhood friends for hours & hours without end simply returned. It's as though time has stopped.

Helmi
-pictures of you , pieces of me.

Law of Nature doesnt work this way

2010-08-03T22:43:00.003+08:00

just sitting here
thinking of nothing
but you

but i know your heart isn't here with me
its wasn't from the start
sorrows and hatred mixed in the glass
bottom ups is all i can do

zy here
sucks to be me sometimes

SWEETS DREAM

2010-08-03T01:08:00.004+08:00

I choose to love, because I would rather take a person through such a bitter Acacia. In each lonely night, I will try to learn, will continue to the end as i do not want you to worry. Perhaps we should recognize at least at one point I will be happy. However, I'll never regret, eventhough you never let me know why love is a sweet thing. . .

-You Wish Everyone Has a Chance
H.E.L.M.I

Feelings are not suppose to exist, yet humans choose to embrace the lies within them: emotions

2010-08-01T23:28:00.003+08:00

ni men hao!

anyway im kinda pissed right now. supposed not to have school tomorrow, but got some tiny thing to do at school! so have to go back to school for LESS THAN AN HOUR! waste of my sleeping time T_T.

anyway today rb awhile, nothing much i guess. yao painted a nice tee (Y).

so ya, im jobless. so sad right? need to find job again. or should just go learn trading? tempting though.

so ya i think i end here then, nothing much to update

zy here!

Thinking of you makes me happy :D

What Do Children Eat These Days?

2010-07-31T02:07:00.001+08:00

It is just me or has anyone notice that those people younger than us, lets say 1-2 yrs younger, are as tall or maybe taller than you already?
OMG like what did they eat? Care to share the secret with the rest of us..?
I happen to walk pass a few of my secondary/primary school juniors & they were like wthomgbbq TALL =.=
I feel so sad now. I wan be taller can!!! ARGH.

What's new lately? anyways talking about short, i have a SHORT number of days before my lab tests, project submissions & presentations. =X been busy lately with all the YOG rehersals. Just had one just now and it was damn cui can.. Made lots of mistakes like forget steps & positioning infront of actual people!!ps!! Have to step up my game..

Just received a message that today's & monday's training is cancelled :/ Please don let the rehearsal be cancelled! i want to see........ the smiles of the crowd :)
Boredom becomes FUN with friends around!

-helmi
ROCK THAT BODY~ COME ON COME ON! ♪

OMG! SOMEONE OTHER THEN ME POSTED BELOW!!

2010-07-26T00:07:00.002+08:00

HAHA! HELMI POSTED! WOOHOO! WHEN IS DAUD'S POST?

anyway.. its like 12.08am now. should be asleep since i have school like later, but i slept like 18hours! HOW TO SLEEP NOW! HAHAHAHA!

anyway im bored. wasted a sunday away, didnt do anything productive at all. o well. at least im looking forward to wednesday! the day when the last project is handed up! so after wed more or less what matters is the est and the reflection journal which is on friday!

so ya... hmm april 77 or nudie? that i is confused. or should just get cheap monday? arh im confused man. i wanna get a pair of sneakers again T_T. my shop cravings are here again. maybe should get afew cheap 3/4 tops just to stop that craving. hahaha

so ya. i think i just end here then. nothing much to update anyway.
nights everyone!

zy here!

i open up the chatbox just to feel lost at the very moment

What type of girl do you like?

2010-07-22T23:24:00.006+08:00

hey.
i know i've been away for quite some time.
but yeah, here i am right now.

This post is dedicated to Shanice Elizabeth. :) something she said struck me. " what kind of girls do you like?". well, at that point in time i had little time to think.. i just said, "cute girls". Cute girls isn't really my actual answer.

I really did give this some thought. Well, to shanice, whom i didnt get to spend much time with today, my answer: cuteness is one of the criteria i like about a girl.For guys, we do look into the physical characteristics of girls such as the face, body shape , bust & butt size and all that. Guys have a "power" which let us scan girls within secs and make conclusion base on looks.

Well,that's not the point.At the end of the day,what we look for is not infactuation but love.
Therefore,that's why we do look for girls with good character :)
For me,i want a girl who is caring and cares about my feelings.Someone who would share stories and jokes with me.Someone who listens to me and not ignore me. Someone who would laugh at my jokes even if it's not funny to others. Someone that likes me even if i don't like myself. Someone who would be there to cheer me on and waits for me regardless if i win or lose , happy or sad. Someone who would take care of me when i sick.Someone who would hold out her hand to me when I'm in need. Someone who likes me for who i am and not who i am not. For if she treats me right, i will treat her the same or even more. I will give my entire heart to her and make her my world.

Having said so, I'm a bit sceptic about being in a relationship cause i don think it will last. However, If i were to find the right girl, i will try my best to make it work. For i want to stop being selfish for once in my live & share my live with someone.

p.s
biscuit! im not stress ok~
-helmi

Filled with troubles

2010-07-21T22:31:00.002+08:00

im blogging when im supposed to be studying for my autocad quiz. fml.

anyway, nothing much again. just random updates. so ideas project is just a pain in the ass. dont really want to care about the poster when that teacher is teaching. seriously sometimes i just want to tell him in the face that he is just useless.

so ya, today watched despicable me with yao. cute show and very funny. like 8.5/10. maybe cause the 1.5 was missing cause i was sleepy. so ya he got some art thingy to make his prints on his shirt nicer. tried toki jeans, fit is just plain weird, so no point getting. thinking of lots of things to get, but need to save abit more so that can spend slowly.

so ya, life is just filled with projects these few days. super bored of it. pray the 3 week yog might get abit of rest and get back on track for the est and score a nice gpa.

well, back to studying autocad then. ciao

hurts to see you hurt, really hurts

To be dead and forgotten

2010-06-15T17:53:00.002+08:00

me again. those 2 are dead bloggers! dead i say!

anyway hmm... nothing much to update though... life isnt as interesting as it gets. anyway im like considering between sneakers and martens, martens dont really suit me though. so maybe like dunks and supra ftw! or should i get a pair of vans? hmm... mindfuck haha.

so... gss isnt as good as it is, hardly got anything from gss. no nice jackets for me to buy :(. o ya we got dlc again, they picked some good songs, but in the end most of them is unplayable for us ( mainly me ) HAHA. so im nuub sorry lor. haiz how i wish to have my own drumset so i can rock at home \m/.

so ya.. life of us remains boring as usual. just that daud just gotten richer, fag. so ya. still poor for most of us except that fag.

need to find some new excitement in life. maybe i should really consider joining a cca after all. rockclimbing seems fun though, sexy back muscles haha!

kk i end here then, nothing much to update, those 2 will never blog! never!

We're all going to hell, we may as well go out in style.

Through the fire and flames, my heart continues to burn

2010-05-19T19:58:00.002+08:00

im back again. if not later blog dead =(

anyway.... life been FUN i guess this 2 weeks. presentation and MST coming soon. still not hitting the books. still saving money for stuff.... hmm.. still fat HAHA. hm... well at least i dont BACKSTAB people like someone.

hmm.. MST MST. i hope can pass. nono score actually HAHA. me want gpa high high :D if not depressed. must get into D plus ok! hmm.. f1 car not as fun as it looks though, o well still have to do.

nothing much liao i guess. life is a bore HAHA

i end here then, zy here~

love is something we will never know, cause there was no definition of it from the beginning of time

Innocence

2010-05-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

My heart aches when you are with someone else.
Even if you're close, u seem so far away.
The way u smile, makes me happy only for the wrong reasons.
I try to speak only to be ignored.
I try to ignore my thinking but my heart says otherwise.
It hurts whenever i look back at the moments we shared.
All i can do right now is try to make you notice me for who i really am.
I hope you'll give me another chance even if it means my last.

If god gave you lemons, go plant a fucking lemon plantation instead.

2010-05-03T08:01:00.002+08:00

well im backkkkk

hmm.. lets see.. watched iron man 2 twice. once on friday and sat. tonned at daud's. got new drums and dlc :D. hmm... nothing much i guess. having slight sore throat and having the feeling and not wanting to go to school at all.....

i think i shall end here. need to go school soon.

zy here

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

FUCK

2010-04-28T18:51:00.000+08:00

why the fuck am i feeling this feeling again? i thought it was suppose to be gone?! why is it fucking back again?

FUCK!

Reminisce

2010-04-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

met kwa, kuokloon and helmi at noon to go hunt for kamen rider stuffs at chinatown square. lots of cool stuffs!!! i still want my double head T_T

then rockband and halo with helmi, kwa and yao! reallly was fun and enjoyable since its been a long time we all gathered at my house to play. had the fun of screening each other and screaming vulgarities when we got killed or ks, just like in the past (: and as usual, we head downstairs for maggi goreng/ pratas and teh ice. talked about loads of stuffs, laughed alot and really just let everything out. turns out everyone of us has some girl problems and other earthly matters to think about. but feels nice to know that your brother's are there to hear you out and give you some advice. and the best part is you still can laugh around about it and not have to be reluctant to say out what you're thinking. really man, from the bottom of my heart, i love you guys (:

BROTHERS! *FIST BUMP WITH ALL OF YOU!*

Still Kinda Stuck In The Mud

2010-04-25T00:15:00.002+08:00

ha im back... not much to update anyway, just did my autocad homework HAHA. long time since i did homework.

anyway today i watch american pie 1 , 2 , 3! bloody funny i swear, i think they are even better than beta house. so still got 2 more to go which is naked mile and band camp. shall watch them soon.

anyway tomorroing going out with kl daud and kuniang. go see rider stuff. otaku HAHA. o well at least they are nice... they should show riders instead of power rangers HAHA!

hm.. not much to update anyway... i shall end here then bye bye!

The smiles on your face are priceless, keep them on forever

Maybe the end is near

2010-04-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

im back... anyway today school was boring. stupid idea module, 3 sketches in week 3 and have to present them, and the are worth 30% of the module. =.= seriously is fml can?

then after school headed down yao's house to help him with his magazine. took some pictures maybe he will be uploading later. anyway some shots turned out nice. so not bad lah haha

anyway he told me something also, maybe it will help me move on or not. but at least i know that the other side is better than my side HAHA.

anyway i end here today, haha going have dinner :D

gald to know that you have found someone you have fallen for.

everything's ruined

2010-04-19T23:00:00.002+08:00

first day of school and i practically destroyed my life

1) my hair was so short and i looked like some freshie -.-
2) i dont know what's wrong but looks like we are back to avoiding even though
it wasnt even planned to be that way
3) i saw gen twice COINCIDENTALLY today, the first i think she nearly laughed at
my hair while the second time, she might have thought i was STALKING her
again, which i had NEVER done before because it was all a FUCKING
COINCIDENCE.
4) i am broke, penniless, not even a single cent! and i have to suit up for the FHA
this weds, whereby I DO NOT OWN A BLOODY SUIT! and i still owe yunkeat,
zhenru, arielle, rachel and qi yao money.
5) and i still cant stop thinking about those things -.- sorry if it's nothing to you
but it means something to me. A HELL LOT.

Will it end with just a "stop"?

2010-04-19T22:27:00.002+08:00

today first day of school ok though. its like workshop so like we had to make a scotch holder for like 6 weeks. and its like 40% of the module =.=

then stone in school till like 2 then went home by bus and relaxed. still can adjust to school timing yet.

well.. still thinking about what to do, to talk or not? maybe should just leave her and let her progress right? i mean i cant be selfish and only think about myself i guess. maybe liked yao said, 18 months. maybe i will soon be over, maybe not. but right now at least im suffering not alone, but with friends.

end here then,
zy here

move on and forget me, maybe thats the last request from me

Its all back to the beginning once again

2010-04-18T23:11:00.002+08:00

i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know i want you in my life anot. the pain is making me think twice. even thrice.

when you blocked me, i wished you were online. now youre online, i wished you blocked me. i dont really know what i really want from you, or the other way round what you want from me.

i know youre moving on, im trying but it doesnt work. if just comes back as a circle, a never ending cycle. it just doesnt stop.

maybe you read maybe you dont, it doesnt really matter does it?

stop the torment right now, if not im surely going crazy

To see the rainbow, it has to rain first.

2010-04-16T23:08:00.002+08:00

dont know whats wrong with me today...

anyway today went back qwss for speech day. kinda boring. people look about the same. nothing interesting.

i wonder why im so useless. shes online, i could had just talked to her. but i didnt. why? cause im useless thats why. my mind is like going back to those past few months again. i dont know whats to do about it anymore. time didnt really heal anything. its just like worsen it. i dont know. i dont want to care, but i cant. mind is totally messed up, emotional war today.

haiz, dont really want to continue anymore.

zy here

may a time machine be created so i can go back to the past and fix everything

Global Warming My ASS

2010-04-13T02:02:00.003+08:00

well well. im back again. bored again. anyway i was like looking at this poster at a bus stop for global warming. they said going vegan is the best way to stop global warming. well... might be a good idea, but it doesnt really solve the problem. let me break it down to you

E.g lets just say that the poster made many people go vegan.

1: firstly, vegetable prices will soar. and i mean soar sky high. cause the increase in demand for veggies increase at a very suddenly and high rate. so just think about those poor families and countries that cant really afford meat and only can get veggies. how are they suppose to survive? will the government aid them by giving them meat? wouldnt it be the same effect? people will starve and people will die. and i mean alot.

2: lets talk about the companies that own butchery and stuff. afew days back on the news they did a study that people wanted to cut down on soft drinks and it will result in billions of dollars lost. so just imagine. if every person on earth decides to stop eating that few hundred grams of meat they consume everyday, how much money will be lost from these companies? they will be forced to shut down. leaving millions jobless, and will the increase of veggie prices, they will more likely die.

3: after those companies shut down. where do the live stock go? kill them since they produce 51% of the green house gases? that will be rioted by animal activist, and no government wants riot. so it will be right to release them back to the wild? WRONG! these animals have been kept by humans thousands of years already. i can say they more or less have lost their animal instincts. protecting themselves will be almost impossible to their new environment. they are blessed with food around them, even if they can find food and survive, wouldnt it destroy ecosystems where they were released? their huge intake of food is sure to deplete the food sources around. what if they cant survive? millions of livestock dead, if no one keeps them, they can be well extinct, and after they die, the decompose for god sake. they still produce green house gases even when they die. what a bitch right?

4: since the suddenly increase of demand of veggies. many people will start planting them. and where do fertilizers come from? animal waste duh. so even if the cows and stuff are kept to produce fertilizers, what are we solving by keeping the main source of green hosue gases? plus people will start clearing land for plantations and stuff. lost of ecosystems and less trees to convert carbon dioxide WHICH HEATS THE EARTH into oxygen.

so these are more or less the 4 main reason turn vegan doesnt fucking help the situation at all. i have a idea though. why not just go to the main source?
humans! just killing everyone of us will surely reduce global warming greatly. you think im mad? we have to do our part for the earth! there are so many other animals out there. just 1 species wiped out can save the earth. isnt it a great deal? i bet humans are too selfish to even think of this idea. dumb fuck motherfuckers.

if you want to save the earth. please just plant a tree for every person on the fucking planet. increase electricity bills so PEOPLE WILL CONSIDER BEFORE THEY USE.

well i shall end here then. nothing better to do but think of such stuff. maybe i can get a nobel prize :D haha

zy here~

you are moving along too smoothly, or maybe it was me that was stuck in the mud all this while

guess it's too late for regrets

2010-04-10T02:11:00.004+08:00

finally went back to blogger to see it was dying and kwa just posted. sorry for the dead blog, was absent from all the others too, facebook/ msn/ twitter/ tumblr. and helmi's been busy with orientation stuff this weeks.

happy news first! i got my supras yesterday! finally after so long (: and so me and yao decided to go wear them yesterday to the lib, vivo and town. oh and he banged this small caucasian kid. met fanny at tangs to go get her shoes. nice to have seen her again after some time. and i learned how to play mahjong, thanks to yunkeat qiying theresah kevin sean collin sin wei and jess (: i cant remember anything else that happened within the hols and i think my STM is getting alot worse. i cant even remember what i did ten minutes ago just now -.-

OH OH! and i saw someone unexpected twice! once with yao at cine and another was with yunkeat and his classmates at cathay. really a coincidence and i swear that was it! no such thing as stalking like what almost everyone is saying. really think that i should go up to you and personally apologize for all the misunderstandings. but since i dont have any confidence nor courage, i dont think this can ever be cleared.

and so many other things have been bugging me recently. thought about my future after that man talk i had with aldy a few weeks back. certain friendship are hanging on the line, tried to fix it back but it was useless and i dont know how to help anymore. school's opening in a week's time and i've been thinking about certain decisions after looking at the current situations surrounding me and some people. and other things which just randomly pops out.

nothing is easy in life huh? then i wonder which would be harder, to have told you in the first place or not to. and to be satisfied with what i have? now i think that sometimes, nothing is better. maybe all this time, i was just being played with your sweet words. i seriously dont know what to do or what to think, guess it's too late for regrets.

Falling apart all together

2010-04-10T01:47:00.001+08:00

me agian... those 2 will never blog. anyway im like at home. very bored now. so decided to blog.

so... hmm what happened let me recount. arh i got my dunks. firstly, then... i got my laptop for school... then... online items came... then.... ya pretty much boring i would say.

so.. next week got orientation like 3 days. still working though. but might be quitting if i cant handle the shit from both work and school. so... pray i can handle so i can earn more $$. not very excited about school though. maybe its the classmates i guess..

well.. super dry post i suppose. not much in my life anyway. right now. just bored bored bored.

shall be back again

zy here

seems like you have forgotten about my existence totally

Today, We Stand. Together As One. Forever.

2010-03-12T18:04:00.002+08:00

im backk~

anyone missed me? LOL

well, today kinda free so i shall blog from work. just now when to celebrate sunat's birthday. met at queenstown then headed down to PS to eat at manhattan fish. kinda nice. treated everyone since i havent really treated anyone since my pay. so dont feel bad those that were treated. its a blessing to give, so im happy. so they were like talking about getting the band hero set. im like quite ok with it, but i would get a ps3 first since there are so many epic games like GOW3 OMGGG.

anyway got my new clip on earphones :D. everytime it plays a new song, it gets even better. im loving it~ i think im getting my dunks tomorrow. LIKE FINALLY. ORANGE BLUE FTW! but i seem to be short of clothes thought.. my wardrobe still seems empty. maybe i should go get more shirts. o well. must get my pay first :D

end here then.. nothing much going on anyway..

The memories are killing me, but i want to hold on to them even more

The Future To Forward, But The Past Not To Be Forgotten

2010-02-15T16:59:00.003+08:00

back again, since sometime since i last blogged.

anyway, currently working again. kinda slack, environment is good, pay is good also, pretty much nothing to complain about. at least i earning extra $$ to spend or to save up for rainy days.

tonned last night with daud yao mits helmi and loh at the flyer though. talked lots and had lots of fun. then headed down to lan to play l4d 2 for like 3 hours. had lots of fun too. well, most likely when they have their break can have alot more fun again.

my tummy is growing bigger again. need to go slim it down, if not it will expand till the day i cant see my feet anymore.

ok i stop here then. nothing much in my life currently though. i need it to be more exciting than this!

My heart still aches when i think of you, only you, and i wished you knew.

miss me anyone?

2010-02-05T23:16:00.002+08:00

HELLLOOO! tsuna's back! (:
extremely lazy to blog for the past few weeks
BUT TODAY WAS FUN!
seriously was nice to meet up with the guys again after so long
AND WE ROCKBAND and prataaaaa! after like ages -.-

nice to have fun with you guys again!!!!
KWA ZHENG YU
MITSUAKI
QIYAO
YUN KEAT
next time lohzhengyu and helmi shall join us too (:

Life is Preciouz

2010-02-02T12:37:00.002+08:00

Last week, the care taker of my lil sis passed away. I felt sad because we were quite close. We celebrated last Hari Raya together. He seemed well just a few months ago. That was before he became ill and was admitted to the hospital about 1 month ago.

Who would have thought that he had to pass so early...
I'm truly grateful for the things that he has done for me.

This incident made me realise how we should treasure the ones we love to the fullest while we still have the chance.Not to mention to express it. We live just ONCE, let make full use of it! leave no regrets.

Helmi
|=imperfect is the new perfect=|

It might be a new beginning

2010-01-27T22:39:00.000+08:00

well, got my posting results today. wasnt expecting anything but mechanical at sp. (L) lmaozx.

well at least i got into a course i want. not like afew people i know, totally headache on even where to go at all. cant blame them cause this year O level grades are really too low. hope the new batch studies even harder to avoid such stuff.

well, still stoning daily at home. not as if i have things to do. go out spend money. after this month would be adult fare. more dont want to go out at all. $_$

well i guess i end here. no one really bothers to post anymore. everyone has their own life.

zy here

Memories are the important. Memories are the times where i remember spending them with you.

Days to come

2010-01-24T20:45:00.002+08:00

helmi here.
Made the decision to blog after being pestered by KWA!
anyways I'm just gonna make this short.
This coming week will be one of the busiest week of my 1st year in sp with projects being due soon , upcoming meetings and DANCE trainings. Had little time to study. anyways, I'm training for my upcoming performance! no details yet but it's gonna be fun.

~imperfect is the new perfect~

Its just a cycle in life

2010-01-18T15:01:00.002+08:00

seems like this blog is dead.. no one is posting anything =.=

i shall post mine then since i seems to be the most free person now.

anyway i have been rotting at home every single day. boredom is seriously part of my life now. cant wait for school to start so i can actually do something rather than stone infront of the computer and do nothing.

well torrent is crazy these days. cant get connected to any seeds to download stuff. my com seems to have a ram problem or motherboard problem. might need to bring it down to check if i continues. if im going might as well get another 4gb of ram hehe!

o well. back to my stoning days. future sp student i guess. or np doesnt make much of a difference now

Life was never same without you. Seems like you have forgotten about my existence totally.

The new year doesnt mean its a new beginning

2010-01-02T18:26:00.002+08:00

well.. its like the 2nd day of the new year. doesnt feel very new to me though. just some other day. counted down with a bunch of friends, but the counting down spirit was really with me. i brought lots of regrets from last year to the new year. life is still sucky and im not doing anything to improve it.

hope the new year is actually better. not that last year was sucky at all or stuff. still waiting for my pay so that i can shop, but the crave for shopping is like gone already. maybe i should go run, my belly is growing again.

o well, i shall stop here then. randomness is flooding me.

ciao~
zy here

It maybe the new year, but the memories and feelings are still there from last year.

unbelievable

2009-12-29T01:12:00.001+08:00

only my poly had to start school this week. wtf!?
sucks to be in school when everyone else is enjoying the holiday season.
I WANT MY HOLIDAYS BACK YOU MUDABITCH!

The Dawn Of Something New

2009-12-28T00:34:00.003+08:00

hey. HELMI 's back after so long AGAIN.
I've been really busy lately going out almost everyday.
YESTERDAY, we celebrated my brother bear's 17th birthday! haha. it was RAW fun. LOH ZHENG YU had a really crazy idea that would get him caught by the police on his birthday. We would have pull it off if we had more guts which we ended up not doing. xD overall, i think it was a memorable day for him.
I'm left with only one more week left before school starts. I plan to make full use of the remaining hols ! ALSO, it will be the end of 2009 in a few days time and i hope to have a memorable last day of 09 with my close friends. CANT WAIT 4 TT.

All human beings undergo changes in their life.
some adapt quickly to change, others take time.
In time i too will change be it for better or for worst.

morons, really

2009-12-28T00:19:00.003+08:00

DAUD TSUNA IS BACK (: AND BROTHER!!! its not that i dont want to blog, its no time to blog, even thought its my holidays. hahahaha and fuck the fact that school starts back for me tomorrow, fuck the fucking fucktard moron which does not have a life and wants everyone to go back to school with him/ her/ it.

yeah, so like he said, my two weeks of holidays was well spent (:

went to seoul'd out and saw Ga-In (:
loh and helmi stayover my house
the normal clique stayover at babisono's house, but the dinner sucked -.-
me mits kwa and andrew stayover koukloon's house
celebrated loh's birthday (:
npcc gathering just now (:

so overall i didnt sleep for one whole week i think, starting to get use to it

i learned something today. when the truth was told, i was in extreme shock, i really thought that what i see in dramas and such would never ever occur to any one of my friends. i saw the pain, anger, sadness in your eyes when you told me what you wanted me to know. i'm truly sorry for mot being able to be there for you when you went through all that hardship. so please, the next time you need us, call me, cause friends will always be there for you.

The rain just keeps falling

2009-12-27T22:57:00.002+08:00

ok this blog like only i blogging... both the buggers like not posting anything even though its their break =.=

anyway, quit my job already. just waiting for pay to go on a spree. need to find another job soon though. dont want to stone at home and do nothing and waste life away.

now like im having a total headache deciding what course to go to in poly. and which poly. sp or np? engineering or life sciences? passion or dream? hard to decide.

anyway these few days with the brothers were fun. very fun actually. hope everyone wont be too busy once i start school or something.

ok end here then. need to go back and think about my future.

zy here

that text i received made my day, even thought it only contain a simple message. it truly made my day. thanks

And you said it would only take time

2009-12-19T21:56:00.001+08:00

weee~ long time never blog le. finally back!

had like work almost day since last week. only had a day off yesterday cause there wasnt any stock for us to work on. was called on last minute to work today. worked half day and got stomach ache and even puked. feel so weak and fat. i thought work makes one slimmer! but for me IM GROWING FATTER! need to go work out after this month when i quit the job! cant wait for pay day and shop $_$!

tomorrow going sentosa with the usual group of sentosa-ers. i wanna catch avatar! so many people reviewed that its damn nice! o ya iron man 2 is coming out soon! WARMACHINE!!! WOO!

ok i shall end here today. blog when im free again.

zy here

i knew time woundnt heal anything. false hope was all i was given.

it keeps getting better (:

2009-12-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

thursday
suppose to see BEG at airport. but somehow only FT Island tmax and someone else came. some bitch told us this when after Ft Island left, "you can go home now, no one coming already. BEG coming tomorrow at 1130 terminal 2 also" she gace us this gui lan face and looked at us like we were 15 years old waiting for celebs to come -.- was so disappointed after all the excitement.

friday
so woke up and cab down to airport to terminal two with arielle and rachel. went there only to see no crowd of cheering fans and no barricade. asked the info counter but the next flight was like at 1430 -.- so we sat there stoned for an hour, disappointed again, till this group of girls walked past us and said something about terminal one. we rushed there saw the barricade and our smiles returned. FINALLY SAW BROWN EYED GIRLS! AND GA IN WAS SO HOT! AND SHE'S SHORTER THEN ME! SO WAS NARSHA! (: (: (: (: (: (:
so happy that i got to see my favourite person on earth now and her smile in real life and that she was shorter then me and yet still has hot legs (: (: (: (: (: (:

daud here with a huge smile on his face (: going fort canning with helmi soon to book space. so nights people (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

SPEECHELESS!

2009-12-09T21:50:00.002+08:00

good things happening this week:
1) TERM TEST ENDING TOMORROW!
2) playing L4D2 tomorrow too!
3) AND THE MOST IMPORTANT IS THAT I GONNA SEE BROWN EYED GIRLS LIVE THIS SAT! MEANS I GET TO SEE GA IN LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps for those for dont know who that is, her name is Ga-In, without the (-) so please stop saying i got bad english or something.

bad things happening:
1) BROTHER IS BEING AN ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER BITCH who comes up super unreasonable things to be unhappy about with me and then comes up sith super no link excuses when he doesnt know wad else to say -.- stupidity is whirling around him since god knows when -.-
2) somehow alot of guys that saw ga in on my phone says she looks like a guy. my god! HAHAHAHA! open your eyes people! SHE'S a girl! GIRL! hahaha

AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE GA IN!
(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

Why isnt it as easy?

2009-12-06T21:20:00.002+08:00

WOOO! JUST FINISH WATCHING AMERICAN PIE : BOOK OF LOVE! quite a nice show, not as horny as the others. main aim is showing how to get the girl. seems like, being true to yourself and just expressing your feelings somehow gets the one you love, the one you only had eyes for and is willing to wait for. guess doesnt really apply to me though.

well, quite boring for a rest day. tomorrow got work again. thinking if to solo on 9 and 10. then can get more $$. should i get the zara jeans and get them to alter the waist? feels damn nice and just the type i want!

o well. stop here today. ciao

zy here

maybe being out of your life is better for you. but for me, just the sight of you is enough.

Hoping for the best

2009-12-04T18:30:00.003+08:00

5th day at work. kinda getting used to it though. abit of muscle aches on my arm. but the sore on the feet are getting lesser and lesser. maybe i getting used to standing for like 8 hours!

these few days maybe it was abit more smooth sailing. but random thoughts of her always pop out. cant help but to smile when i think of the memories i had. maybe it wouldnt ended this way if i didn't act so foolishly. only regrets and more regrets. but i cant do anything to remove these regrets in me. i can only bring it along to my grave.

zy here. feet is abit sore LOL

i wish the feelings would not fade away. i want to keep them close to me. i want to wait till i cant wait no further.

slowly but surely

2009-12-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

damn it! term test next week and i havent start studying!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

daud here, it hurts but i cant forget what you said -.-

Sick Sick LoveSick?

2009-12-01T19:55:00.002+08:00

MST is just round the corner and many diseases are spreading around school.Most of my classmates are feeling the sick these past few days including me.Had a wonderful time on THURS but soon after that i feel feeling nauseous and heaty.After that,i started to have no appetite in any food , was feeling shitty and stuff for 3 consecutive days.SLEEP 10 TIMES!! ARGH OMG. sickening...come today im alot better. YEAH glad to be alive lolz.

helmi here
p.s now my fren breathing heavily under my ear like literaly!@#@!FTW
im studying dammit

It Will Never Happen. Really.

2009-11-30T19:30:00.002+08:00

got back from first day at work thought. wasnt as bad as i expect it to be. but was damn boring, and standing the whole day made it worst. i almost at a breakdown while working. just sitting there. thinking of her. started writing her name on my palm. feels so good. but it will never happen. ever again. guess its hard to move on. it is.

i dont know if youre reading this, i doubt so. but i really wished nothing happened and we could be like old times. talking and texting, smiling. makes life so simple and nice. how i wished. i wished every night before i go to bed. sounds stupid right? this is what you get from a love sicked person.

zy here.

even a hi would make me day. really.

a fun day filled with jelly beans

2009-11-26T23:03:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KWAN QI YAO! finally 17 huh!

so went out wif birthday boy kwa yunkeat helmi and nicole to celebrate and have fun ><>< waited for yunkeat finish his lesson before headin to plaza sing to meet kwa yao and cole. suppose to meet them at the earphone shop but apparently yunkeat was distracted by the new two wheel sakteboard thingy and was hooked on to it. and the girl promoting it was kinda pretty, so... AND YAO'S NEW HAIR! FUCKIN HILARIOUS! but nicer then mine. damnit. so we started to walk to fort canning park under the hot burning sun. if weizhi was there he would say how much vitamins he was absorbing HAHAHAHA! we walked one huge round to the fort cause cole said there was an escalator up to it from the national museum but we were like kinda lost? we cam whored the whole time doing random poses at random spots! HHAHAHA! shall let the picture tell the story. headed back to ps to meet helmi to watch movie, NEW MOON, cause cole wanted to watch it but couldnt catch it cause way too many girls are obssessed with it till the whole cinema was packed. had dinner at pizza hut and we ordered quite alot. played some truth or dare and kwa yk and me got some personal questions and yk had to do a dare! video will be on facebook too! headed home after all the fun and i feel so refreshed now (:

today was super fun and hilarious! BROTHER! hope you enjoyed your birthday! lets have the chalet to have loads more fun man! HAHAHA! daud here (:

It maybe be the start, it maybe be the end. Who knows?

2009-11-25T20:34:00.004+08:00

these few days kinda.... AT HOME. =.= actually went out yesterday to celebrate minvin's birthday. went to seoul... that seoul garden if you know.. that one.. was near that seat.. arh =.=. anyway after that went clementi for L4D 2. kinda fun though... but AIs still suck dick HAHA.

still looking for a job though... sucks being jobless and broke....

zy here.

I shall embrace this feeling till its gone. I have never regretted this feeling. Not even once.